Fake Ian Berry MP has joined Premier Campbell Newman’s war against outlaw motorcycle gangs.
‘I have intelligence that a notorious motorcycle hoodlum is operating in Ippy’, Lord Berry said.
‘He has hoodwinked an upstanding local family, convincing them to rent him a room above their carport.’
‘I’m appalled! I know the family well. The father owns the local hardware store. We’re members of the same lodge!’
‘His son, a young ginger-haired chap, is regularly seen with this two-wheeled desperado. It’s wrecked his prospects in the Young LNP!’
Dressed in a Royal Canadian Mounted Police uniform and twirling a truncheon, Lord Berry said he suspected that the bikie leader was in cahoots with union thugs.
‘Apparently this hoodlum can switch on electrical equipment by clicking his fingers - dark arts straight from the Electrical Trade Union!’
Lord Berry said the bikie leader was running his Ippy empire from the lavatory of a local fast food establishment, referred to as ‘his office’.
‘Goodness knows how many Council regulations this contravenes!’
‘I’ve learned he plans to demonstrate his prowess at Wivenhoe Dam on Saturday by brazenly jumping a shark whilst on water-skis!’
Lord Berry said that he had gladly authorised the use of extreme force.
‘My LNP troopers will go in blunderbusses blazing! I expect several thousand serfs to be mown down.’
‘Anyone who spots this hoodlum is to report him immediately. My office has circulated the following recent image to aid in the identification of this ruffian.’
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