I'm pleased LNP HQ has asked that I keep a diary of our undoubtedly triumphant 2015 Queensland election campaign.
I can't say I'm surprised.
No less an expert than Paul Kelly from The Australian calls me 'the most curmudgeonly and cantankerous observer of Australian conservative politics writing today'. And he should know! Curious readers are encouraged to purchase a copy of my bestselling essay 'The Ten Top Torys who Saved Christendom from the Climate Alarmists' available on my website and in audio book (as read by Billy J Smith).
But I digress.
Day 1 of the 2015 campaign began at 4am and my daily conference call with the Premier, Slugger Seeney and Treasurer Timbo. These phone calls are an opportunity for the LNP brains-trust to strategise the day. (We gave the Borg the number for Patty's Pizza at Burpengary instead, which he calls religiously at 4am each morning. Ha!)
Pleasantries were quickly dispensed with (Slugger updated us on a promising new sheep dip he's trialling) and then the Premier told us he would visit the Governor later that morning to call an election.
He was silent for a few minutes when Timbo pointed out that the Governor was on holiday and that the acting Governor was filling in.
'Tim Carmody', the Premier muttered finally, 'Bleijie's Bloke?'
We treated this as rhetorical and quietly waited several minutes for his teeth grinding to peter out.
After the conference call and breakfast, I took a quick tour round the Ippy electorate (well, those sections on the route from Berry Manor to the coffee shop and back).
No sign of electoral unrest here.
Besides, I'm certain the LNP will invest to the same level in Ippy as they did in Countessa Hardlinger's campaign for the Federal seat of Blair. No doubt LNP planes pulling 'Vote for Berry' signs will soon be a constant sight over the electorate.
Finally, my predictions for election day.
- The Premier will score a smashing victory in Ashgrove, relegating Labor's Kate Jones to 6th place behind the Australasian Amalgamated Pigeon Fanciers Party.
- Prime Minister Abbott will be a constant presence here during the campaign. We've already purchased Queensland State of Origin jerseys for Tony and Peta!
- The LNP will retain all but one of our 73 seats. We'll lose Ipswich West to the Australasian Amalgamated Pigeon Fanciers Party. Sorry Choaty.
Lord Lamington.
